Toxic Empathy: How Progressives Exploit Christian Compassion
By Allie Beth Stuckey
Sentinel, Penguin Random House, 2024. 224 pages.
Toxic Empathy: How Progressives Exploit Christian Compassion is an important book addressing multiple prominent issues. Primarily it is about how the Religious Left pushes a false and un-biblical view of compassion, empathy, and love.
In the name of love, compassion, tolerance and inclusion, the Left – both secular and religious – has been able to push immoral and un-biblical agendas. These range from socialism, abortion-on-demand, critical race theory, LGBTQ+, erosion of freedom and democracy, cancel culture and more.
How many times have we heard a message of indiscriminate inclusion that Christians should never judge and simply accept people without a call to personal transformation? This is a key mantra of social progressives when it comes to issues like same-sex marriage.
In five carefully articulated chapters, Stuckey explores: abortion, transgenderism, homosexuality, immigration, and social justice. She explains what she means by “toxic empathy” in the introduction:
“For the Christian, empathy should never compel us to affirm that which God calls sinful or to advocate for policies that are ineffective at best and deadly at worst….
This book isn’t about killing empathy. It’s about embracing God’s vision for love, order, and goodness to advance human flourishing and to equip Christians with commonplace, biblical truths that dismantle a toxic empathy from its foundations.
Real love – the kind described by the God who created and is love (I John 4:8) – always includes truth. The two are inextricably intertwined, since true love celebrates truth (1 Cor. 13:6). Christians are called to this kind of love regardless of whether we feel empathy or not. Christians love because Christ first loved us, not because we feel a certain way or have had a particular experience (1 John 4:19).
That’s why empathy is different from, and must be submissive to, love. Putting yourself in someone’s shoes may help you feel their pain, but their pain isn’t determinative of what’s true or false, right or wrong. A person for whom you feel empathy may, in their pain, believe or demand things that are untrue, unhelpful, and even harmful. We can empathize with the pain of withdrawal for a drug addict, for example, but it would be cruel to give them the heroin they crave.
“This tension between empathy and love is less relevant in most everyday interactions—like when you come across a struggling mom at the airport—and more intense when it comes to the politically charged issues of our day. In these circumstances, we often confuse the empathy that motivates us to help people around us with the empathy that’s demanded of us by progressive activists.” (xvii-xviii)
Five areas Stuckey discusses all exemplify this. Truth has been replaced by feelings. Faulty notions of compassion have replaced level-headed realism when it comes to helping and caring for people. True love is abandoned, and unreliable emotions take charge.
Consider the closing words from Stuckey’s chapter on abortion:
“Toxic empathy is a cancer. It is used to pressure women to undergo abortions and to convince everyone else that abortion is OK. It leads to the murder of the smallest, weakest, and most vulnerable children in horrifically gruesome ways. It pulls on our heartstrings through half-baked stories and emotional talking points to persuade women and men that getting rid of their child is the only way out of whatever predicament they are in. And it leaves those same women and men with the wound of knowing deep down that they have destroyed a miracle that God had brought to life.
When it comes to abortion, compassion and pity by themselves lead to brokenness and even death. Christians offer something infinitely more valuable: truth and love. Past the headlines and the politics, Christians must relentlessly and lovingly tell and act on the truth of what abortion is, no matter the cost. Yes, we must care for mothers. Yes, we should help struggling families with Christlike charity to the greatest degree possible. But we also must stand firm and declare that abortion is not, has never, and will never be acceptable. That is the only way we can truly love the scared, pregnant mothers who don’t know what to do and the beautiful babies they carry. Lives are on the line – and they are worth fighting for.” (p. 33)
On border control and illegal immigration, Stuckey rebukes false compassion and the bogus “love” of those who see no problem with open borders and millions entering the country in an unregulated manner. She cites numbers to make this case:
“In fiscal year 2023, Border Patrol recorded 1,254 illegal immigrants convicted of assault, battery, or domestic violence, 2,493 convicted for driving under the influence, and 2,055 for illegal drug possession and trafficking—and that’s just those arrested, tried, and convicted. This data doesn’t count any of the criminals who got away or who weren’t prosecuted thanks to the noncompliance policies of sanctuary cities.”
Legal immigration, of course, is to be supported and encouraged, but when we turn a blind eye at the borders, we simply encourage millions more to seek to come in, including criminals, drug cartels, human traffickers, and others. And real people in real ways are being assaulted, raped and murdered as a result. Where is the compassion in that?
“The danger of illegal immigration isn’t just about illegal immigrants themselves, but also the consequences of having a border that is easily crossed. Deadly drugs, weapons, and sex slaves are trafficked by cartels, and smugglers are exploiting the porous border, with great cost to human lives. The vast majority of fentanyl in the United States is smuggled across the Mexican border, thanks to a sinister partnership between Mexican cartels and the Chinese Communist Party.” (p. 106)
Stuckey concludes writing:
“Toxic empathy isn’t just a cheap replacement for real, biblical love. It is its foil, its archnemesis. It’s the wolf dressed as a grandmother to trick Red Riding Hood. It’s the villain who poses as an innocent civilian so he can gain access to his victims. It’s a poisonous dessert, sweet to taste but deadly when consumed….
Remember, politics matters because policy matters because people matter. Politics affect policy, and policy affects people, and people matter. We Christians, who see our neighbors as image bearers of their Creator, should understand that better than anyone.
And we do what we can with what we’re given, raising or respectful ruckus for the truth on behalf of our children and communities. We rebuff attempts at emotional manipulation hoisted upon us by toxic empathy and instead rely on God’s word and the capable minds he gave us as our guides. Over and over again, we choose truth-filled love over its poisonous counterpart, trusting that God’s ways are better and more loving than any the world could muster.” (p. 168, 170)
Comment by David on November 8, 2024 at 8:34 am
Well, if immigrants are so bad, why is it that Queens, NYC, has a lower crime rate than other places when about half of its 2.3 million residents were born outside the US?
Perhaps the most un-biblical position stance taken by progress churches was opposition to slavery. The excuse that slavery was somehow different in the Roman era is nonsense.
Comment by Mike on November 8, 2024 at 3:36 pm
David, the obvious answer is that those immigrants came here legally, and assimilated into the culture. The case is far different with the hordes that are coming into the country illegally today.
Comment by David on November 8, 2024 at 3:53 pm
There are lots of illegal immigrants in Queens, perhaps 141,000, including Chinese. Their kids are the ones who do well in school and end up at Harvard.
Comment by John on November 8, 2024 at 7:27 pm
Actually, the majority of fentanyl is smuggled into this country by U.S. citizens through legal points of entry, not illegal immigrants sneaking across the border. Why would the cartels use desperate undocumented immigrants as mules who are likely to get caught or die in the desert? Why take the risk, when they can just as easily hire Americans to do the work for them, many of whom are white and non-Hispanic? Clint Eastwood (a MAGA republican) even starred in a movie about this. This means building a wall, mass deportations, more detention centers, and all the other stuff Trump is calling for won’t even make a dent in the fentanyl epidemic. Funny how an author that talks about the importance of truth let’s these little details fall through the cracks. I wonder where the IRD’s commitment to truth was when Trump and the Republicans lied about Haitians eating people’s pets. Couldn’t let the truth get the way of good story, could you?
Comment by 9ine on November 9, 2024 at 6:48 pm
While we’re asserting facts without evidence, I’d like to assert without evidence that everyone that disagrees with me is wrong, and bad.
Comment by Diane on November 9, 2024 at 8:52 pm
I volunteered in the 1980s to be a care-partner or “buddy” to people living with HIV/AIDS. One individual, a 25 year old man, asked if he might attend church with me. He came regularly, I picked him up because he was losing his vision and couldn’t drive. One Sunday morning prior to worship, a retired clergy member of the church privately cornered me. I’ll never forget his words. “In the future, you might want to invite your friends to other churches – we need to think about the church’s reputation”. I’m a so-called progressive Christian, just a lowly layperson, who believes we’re called to love God and neighbor. Just my two cents. The young man living with HIV/AIDS died a few months later. I never told him what the clergy member said and I continued picking him up at his parents’ home (where he lived) every Sunday for as long as he was able to come. I knew there was a young couple in the church who didn’t want to be near him, keeping their children at a distance. At his memorial service in the sanctuary of a funeral home, his father slipped me a tightly crumpled up $100 bill, saying, “I want you to have this…you were my son’s only friend…thank-you”. I eventually entrusted the money to a progressive pastor friend, explaining where it came from. I asked him to share it in any way that would benefit someone in need. The faithful who reached out and showed up for those early-on infected with HIV/AIDS were “progressive Christians”. I’d like to think I was just a Christian. The author of this article has much to learn.
Comment by Douglas E Ehrhardt on November 9, 2024 at 10:30 pm
What if a virtuous person like yourself had not believed in the promotion of sodomy as so called progressive Christianity does.? Maybe lives like that of that 25 year old man might not have been enslaved by the death cult . Same sex attraction disorder is a false identification. Maybe you might be the one who needs to learn.
Comment by Wilson R. on November 10, 2024 at 6:25 pm
Empathy is never toxic. That’s Poisonwood Bible stuff. Just amazing that anyone who claims to follow Jesus would make such a claim. A person acting on empathy might make the wrong decision or advocate for an unhelpful policy, but showing empathy and compassion is basic to loving one’s neighbor. This is just shameful.
Comment by Diane on November 11, 2024 at 1:14 am
Douglas, maybe if you spent less time concerned about sin, you could spend time caring for the sick, as Jesus did.
Comment by Wilson R on November 11, 2024 at 10:29 am
I’m wondering how Bethany Moy would tell the story of the Good Samaritan.
Something like(?):
“A priest and a Levite were driving along a road that led to the border (as the Jericho road did), and came across a man who had been beaten and left for dead. First thing, naturally, was to check to see if he had papers. Finding none, and considering the likelihood that he had crossed the border illegally. So they loaded him into the back of their car, took him to the nearest border crossing, and turned him over to the authorities.”
Or maybe:
“A hated Samaritan (read: liberal apostate with toxic empathy) found the injured man, took him home, bandaged his wounds, nursed him to health, and helped him find a place to stay. A priest and a Levite found out that the toxic empathist was providing illegal asylum to an illegal alien, so they reported them both to ICE. The alien was deported in the name of love, and the Samaritan went to jail.”
The priest, the Levite, and Bethany congratulated themselves for their tough love.
Comment by Wilson R. on November 11, 2024 at 12:21 pm
Perhaps we should re-imagine the parable of the Good Samaritan in light of “toxic empathy”:
A toxic empathist (probably an Episcopalian, United Methodist, or Disciple of Christ but maybe a Catholic under the influence of Franciscans) was driving along the road to Jericho (Jericho being a border town in southern New Mexico) and came across a man who had been beaten and robbed. He was almost positive the man had crossed the border illegally from Mexico. Nevertheless, his toxic empathy led him to help the man into his car and drive him to his home in Las Cruces, where he bandaged his wounds, nursed him back to health, and then found him a place to stay–all outside the law.
When a local minister and church deacon found out what had happened, they reported the illegal immigrant to ICE and the toxic empathist to the local sheriff. The immigrant was deported back to Mexico, where he was soon kidnapped and murdered by a criminal gang. The toxic empathist was sentenced to six months in jail as a lesson to himself and to other toxic empathists. The minister and deacon congratulated themselves on showing everyone what tough love in action looks like.
Comment by Melanie on November 11, 2024 at 3:07 pm
These numbers are not very big considering 2 million migrants crossed the border in 2023 according to ICE. However, Any assault or murder is still horrific. Which is why it is important to have a way for migrants to seek asylum from their would-be murders and assaulters with in the context of strong border control and protection of our communities. I do wonder what the author thinks of calling migrants scum and vermin in order to dehumanize them. I guess ,y disgust is just more toxic empathy for “the stranger” among us.
Comment by Tim Ware on November 11, 2024 at 10:15 pm
Motels put up “No Vacancy” signs, and no one accuses them of hate.
Comment by Tim Ware on November 11, 2024 at 10:58 pm
We are all tempted to take something Jesus said in a certain context to illustrate a certain point and, completely without warrant, transfer it over to whatever the issue du jour might be that suits our purpose to grind into the ground those we disagree with.
Yep, you lefties are just as guilty of that as others…maybe even more so. You just have a different list of those it’s ok to hate.
Comment by Wilson R on November 12, 2024 at 8:00 am
Interesting that you suggest it’s OK to hate with the excuse that “lefties” do it, too. Even more interesting because none of the posters on this thread whom you would apparently classify as “lefties” have expressed anything remotely resembling hate.
Comment by Tim Ware on November 12, 2024 at 11:42 am
WilsonR,
With all due respect, from the tone of your posts here, it’s obvious that you regard all who disagree with you with extreme disdain and have no respect for them whatsoever. From the tone of your posts, it’s obvious that you regard all who hold views that don’t coincide with yours as human garbage. From your lofty throne, you feel it is OK to stomp on those whom you have decided don’t matter.
Comment by Wilson R. on November 12, 2024 at 1:41 pm
“Human garbage?” I think you’re confusing me with the presidential candidate who called immigrants “garbage” and “vermin.”
“All who disagree with me?” You’re obviously working from a very small sample. The author of this column and the author of the book she reviewed? Absolutely, I have no respect for their viewpoint on this issue. It’s anti-gospel, and it’s toxic. Jesus said not to condemn. But he also didn’t hesitate to point out “blind guides” and “whitewashed tombstones.”
Comment by Tim Ware on November 12, 2024 at 11:25 pm
WilsonR,
Thank you. You proved my point.
Comment by Gordon Hackman on November 13, 2024 at 7:27 am
“Absolutely, I have no respect for their viewpoint on this issue. It’s anti-gospel, and it’s toxic.”
Well, I have no respect for your views either, and I think THEY are anti-gospel and toxic. And it seems you misunderstand the point about “toxic empathy” and simply reassert, without real argument, your own view. So I don’t take you seriously.
Comment by Wilson R. on November 13, 2024 at 11:10 am
Tim, I hope you can get your hate under control. Really.
As Paul asked the Galatians, “Who has bewitched you?”
Comment by G on January 27, 2025 at 4:50 pm
This just makes me sad and not want to go to church. As a Christian, You’re suppose to help bring people to Jesus and the Bible, not repel them
Comment by Will on June 12, 2025 at 4:43 am
The people on the left promoting toxic empathy are far more toxic than empathetic. They’re only empathetic and loving to those who think/vote like they do. They’ll condone and defend rioters/brawlers and people who don’t identify as a man or a woman, but if you’re openly conservative on any issue, you’re treated like a satanist. They’ll jump on the prayer bashing bandwagon one minute (aka push non-belief) and turn around and tell people how to put Faith into practice, sometimes pushing mistruths (i.e. Jesus forgiving financial debts).
The analogy about married men and their mothers should be applied to those on the left who preach empathy and inclusion and conservatives. Put those people in a room with people right of center and you’ll see how empathetic and inclusive they really are (or really not).
Jesus wasn’t a Republican. He wasn’t a Dem either. Jesus would be an independent.