A Decade of Loneliness

The Barna Group recently released a report revealing that over the past decade, more Americans report feeling lonely, unhappy, and complacent about life. The report names 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and the economic recession as key factors influencing this early 21st century malaise.

The report is striking, as it reveals that less Americans describe themselves as “busy” than did ten years ago. In 2000, 46 percent said they were busy, now only 34 percent do. Further, one in five Americans are lonely, compared with only 12 percent a decade ago.

David Kinnaman, president of Barna Group analyzed the implications of this research for American society broadly, and for Christians specifically, pointing out the opportunity for “the Christian community – the original social network – to provide genuine responses to the needs of today’s culture.” He also noted that “‘unmarried America’ perceives itself to be lonelier, more indebted and more aspirational about getting ahead in life than the married cohort of Americans.”

The apparent irony of these statistics is our supposed increased interconnectedness through online social networks, namely Facebook, which are supposed to be “virtual communities.” As of 2012, 67 percent of Americans with internet access used Facebook. But research shows participation in the “virtual community” can be detrimental to one’s emotional and psychological health.

Other widespread trends not mentioned in the Barna report pose serious challenges for Americans’ quality of life as well. Suicide rates have risen significantly over the past decade, especially among middle aged Americans. For Americans ages 35 to 64, the suicide rate has risen nearly 30 percent since 1999 and suicide now accounts for more deaths each year than car accidents, with 38,364 Americans taking their own lives in 2010.

Another deleterious trend not mentioned by Barna is the high rates of pornography use among Americans. Nearly 80 percent of Americans view pornography at least once a month, despite a growing body of research showing how isolating it can be, and how harmful it is to one’s relationships.

Lonely Americans may have once been distracted by their busyness and the demands of their careers, and too often, these pursuits mean family and friends are placed in a second tier position, receiving less time and attention. Over the past decade, it seems many Americans have woken up to the grey reality of life without deep community and have nothing meaningful left to distract them anymore.

Times of crisis are painful, but they tend to illuminate our deepest needs and enrich real life relationships. Our human tendency to build our own sense of security is challenged by the circumstances outside of our control that can destroy our illusions of self-sufficiency in an instant. Along this line of thinking, it is tempting to view the increasing numbers of unemployed or underemployed young Americans living with their parents as a sign of failure, but in one sense, the trend shows how desperate situations drive people to rely on help from others.

Further, this is a crisis for local churches to address. No economic recovery will fix the deep pain of isolation and loneliness. Depressed, lonely Americans are already in the pews (or theater seats) and desperately need real, face to face human relationships. Although the national events Barna listed as contributing to depressed America are surely influential in each individual life, every suicide and report of loneliness represents a unique story that can only be addressed through local community and intimate relationships.