We all have milestones in life that we anticipate: obtaining our first driver’s license or registering to vote. For me, it was being old enough to join my church’s United Methodist Women meetings, the Rebecca Circle.
Growing up, I was blessed to be taught in church by many wonderful Christian women. The true joy of joining the Rebecca Circle was my relationships with them, transitioning from teachers to friends. Among our regular duties was to plan events for the local church, and I have been asked to reflect on how that has impacted me as IRD’s Events Director.
Some of my most cherished memories were with the UMC Women. Here are some of my favorite lessons.
Lesson 1: Even small acts can make difficult work pleasant. My mother likes to tell the story of Fay Smith and her “mock apple pie,” which she presented to the women while they carried out the Little Kanawha District’s request to compile a membership role for the church’s impending closure. It was sad, tedious work, but then Fay brought out her pie and asked the women what they thought of her new recipe. After everyone expressed their compliments, the women were shocked to learn that the pie did not contain apples. Her small act made a hard task fun.
Lesson 2: “They say that I’m bossy.” Marilyn Wright has said this to me countless times. Always in a conspiratorial whisper that challenges me to disagree with the statement. She is bossy. No one has volunteered me for more tasks, and I was always blessed for it. Marilyn has that rare ability to immediately recognize another person’s gifts and talents, even when the talent needs nurturing, and she never lets them go unrecognized. She wisely recognizes that in order to grow, some people need a push and others need a shove. Countless people found their roles of service to our church because Marilyn spotted and appreciated their talents.
Lesson 3: Someone has to take the meetings and the budgets. While it’s rarely fun, someone has to do the basic behind-the-scenes work. If it is not done well, the event turns to anarchy, or in the case of one fateful outside mid-July potluck, every attendee bringing a tray of deviled eggs. (Bonus lesson: events will go wrong, but as long as the company is good, you can make the most of it.) Fortunately, for Vacation Bible School, we had Cathy Morris, who attended the meetings, stuck to the budgets, and joyfully did the background preparation. Because of her efforts, we shared the gospel with hundreds of children. (Additional bonus lesson: even with planning, events can face sudden changes, such as a derecho hitting during VBS trapping 20 workers and 70 children armed with clapper hands in the fellowship hall with no electricity and lots of uncooked hot dogs. Even then, you can find ways to make the most of it.)
Lesson 3: Find ways to incorporate rather than tolerate the presence of children. Children know when they are loved and appreciated, and they know when they are not. If they will be attending your event, you need to be considerate of their experience. We were blessed with Connie Smith, Shelly Wood, Shirley Smith, and Cathy Morris, who always made the children feel loved.
Also, it is important to let children know their help is appreciated. From the time we were little, we were asked to help with events, and the women genuinely made us feel as though our small tasks were instrumental, which brings us to the next lesson.
Lesson 4: Gratitude is essential: It’s easy to become stressed or frustrated during an event, especially with those we love the most. Simple displays of gratitude are necessary to keep morale up. Jeanie Brothers, Phyllis Edman, Sue Burkey, and Opal Thompson always knew how to make you feel appreciated.
Lesson 4: Yes, decorations matter! The men in our church loved to joke that they didn’t need decor at their events, but when they entered the decorated room, they were always thrilled. Decorating doesn’t have to be expensive. It has to be thoughtful and filled with little touches. Kim Wright excelled at this, and we were all blessed.
Lesson 5: Know your skill set and use it. Eve Bailey is an excellent administrator of funeral dinners. Her steadfast devotion to this ministry, even after our church closed, has been a dependable comfort to people for years. (Addendum: Don’t hesitate to use it. Sharon Hammel had not played piano for the church in years. One day, when there was no pianist, she stepped up and saved the service.)
Lesson 6: If people don’t feel welcome, the event has failed. One of my favorite memories of our dinners is Shirley Smith standing with the mixer, covered in mashed potatoes, laughing. Shirley has a special gift for welcoming everyone and setting them at ease. She was far too focused on enjoying others than worrying about being covered in potatoes. (Bonus lesson: If you can do a small kindness, do so. This is why Shirley always insisted on having a small serving of corn just for her nephew, who hates green beans). (Additional bonus lesson: You can never have too much food! Food, crafts, singing, and more food are the true Wesleyan quadrilateral).
Lesson 7: If there’s no photo, it didn’t happen. Now that the church is gone, I’m grateful for all of Shirley’s photos, including the many where I am doing something embarrassing.
Lesson 8: If a task needs to be completed, do it, even if it isn’t your job. This one is from my mother, who is always willing to serve because she sees even small tasks as a service to God.
Lesson 9: Learn to appreciate people for their eccentricities, but always remember the story for later. Shirley has a delightful anecdote about my mother, a mixer, and an ER visit that she breaks out from time to time.
A very special thank you to the women of the Rebecca Circle.
I was also asked to provide my favorite recipe from my time in the United Methodist Women. Eve Bailey would regularly make her lemon cookies for me when I was in college.
Eve Bailey’s Lemon Cookies
1 Box of Lemon Cake Mix
½ cup of oil or butter
2 eggs
1 tsp of Vanilla Extract
Mix together, spoon ¾ inch balls on greased baking sheet.
Bake for 8 to 10 minutes at 350 degrees.
Once cooled, frost with lemon frosting.
Comment by Qohelet on March 24, 2026 at 3:21 pm
Thank you for reminding us all about what’s important about church: the relationships we have.
Comment by Glenn Wheeler on March 25, 2026 at 12:26 am
There is something inherently evil about a society and its religion while, at the same time as that society is killing schoolgirls, carpet-bombing a country that has no capability of striking back at the mainland of the cowardly limp-wrists that are bombing it, and when one of its “Christian” leaders brags about how “we’re going to take their oil and make lots of money off of it,” and has a demented, frothing, satanic psychopath as its president, and is enabling the “people of God” as they commit wholesale slaughter throughout the region….to have an article so sickenly trite as this….with a recipe attached!
Good grief people!
You people need to quit worrying about the judgment of God upon homosexuals and transgenders and start worrying about what God is going to confront you with when you stand before Him!
Comment by SUSAN L. on March 25, 2026 at 8:53 am
I can’t discount the above comment. But 2 things can be true at once. I can relate to every point in this article. We learn how to expand ourselves and expand our charitable feelings through these interactions when working together. The church kitchen ladies were a very big feature of my childhood Methodist upbringing. They were older, out of shape, wobbly skinned and lumpy all over. Invisible to many, useful for making church dinners then cleaning up. Disdained by people like the commentator above. Very interested in me as a nuisance child. I saw them glimmering in the kitchen, light shining off of them. They were angels. They were beautiful.
Comment by Qohelet on March 25, 2026 at 1:13 pm
Glenn I respectfully disagree
Our society is breaking apart because the things that used to bind us together socially have faded away. Church yes, but also bowling leagues, factory softball teams, the PTA, volunteer firefighters, etc, etc.
These are places where people of different political mindsets come together and enjoy the humanity of someone different than them. They’re places we can break down barriers and maybe hear different beliefs and grow as people.
Some organizations, like the United Methodist Women, also come together to get stuff done. Maybe you don’t see eye to eye on politics or how the town is being run but you can help out at the battered women’s shelter or make sure the kids on free lunch at school have extra snacks.
The world is absolutely on fire. But one of the ways we fix that is through our work in our own community. We should honor the UMW for that and mourn the loss of this circle as its church closes.
Comment by Glenn Wheeler on March 26, 2026 at 12:02 am
Qohelet,
I agree that the society in the U. S. has broken down across the board. Everywhere you look, it’s falling apart. It’s a declining society on the way to oblivion. I’m just as sad about it as you are.
But it long ago passed the point of no return. The closing churches are just a mirror of the crumbling of it all.
Comment by Wilson R. on March 26, 2026 at 10:05 am
The UM Women is a particular form of Christian expression and way of being in community. It should be honored for that.
My only complaint is that, elsewhere, this author denigrates different ways of being in community as Christians. A traditional women’s group isn’t for everybody. But if Christians use other, nontraditional settings and forms of expression to reach people where they are, Sarah Stewart seems to find it an abomination, as in her recent post about the UMC. John Wesley met people where they were. If that means having a women’s group, great. But if it happens in a coffee shop or a tattoo parlor, that’s great, too.
Comment by Skipper on March 27, 2026 at 1:52 pm
Methodists help the sexuality confused, they don’t substantiate and reinforce their confusion. Nor do they support abortion. It’s nice the “Women of Faith” want to help the climate, but don’t people need to come first?