by Barton Gingerich (@BJGingerich)
Did you hear about how an Indiana church’s refusal to install gravestone with Colts and NASCAR logos sparked a law suit? Well, you have now.
Two points of observation.
1. Somehow, Indiana has surpassed West Virginia in redneckery (I consider myself a sort of authority on the latter). I mean, who even wants a gravestone that looks like a couch decorated with tacky mishmash etchings of a deer, a dog, a multi-colored NASCAR insignia, and the Colt horseshoe? Look at it–it’s hideous!
2. More sobering is the underlying attitude of the deceased’s father: “I haven’t been back to (St. Joseph) church and have asked that I not be buried there along with my son…I’m told the controversy is splitting the church apart, tearing it in half. But I guess that’s what has to be done.”
Oh, really?
Let me replay the logic here: “I’m working to rupture the fellowship of Christ’s Body and fragment the unity of His Bride because I can’t put up this pug-fugly rock. Yes, yes, that makes perfect sense here.”
There are myriad lessons and warnings in this situation, but let me leave you with just this one. How often have we assumed this position: our parish wouldn’t entertain our own eccentric idea, and we throw a sort of temper-tantrum? We might not be driven to sue our congregation or diocese, but we are often driven to spite. This is a non-doctrinal cause of schism, and it’s bad. Getting over oneself is one of the most important spiritual disciplines to practice.
Comment by apcroft33 on March 11, 2013 at 10:27 am
This made sound like a tangent, but here goes: in a recent visit to a cemetery where some family members are buried, I found headstones (all dating from within the last 15 years) engraved with: an 18-wheeler truck; baseball equipment; football equipment; race cars; sports teams logos; horses; basset hounds. There was also one engraved with a red ribbon, meaning the person died of AIDS. (Would you want the fact that you died of cancer, or a heart attack, on your tombstone?) Beside these, and in a category unto itself, was a young man who died at the age of 22, with the stone engraved “The Big Sexy” along with a photo (plus his real name, of course), plus testimonies by his mother and sister talking about what an adorable son and brother he was. (No statements from the women who helped him achieve the name “Big Sexy,” thankfully.) This cemetery is in a rural part of northern Alabama, belonging to of a very conservative Baptist church. Obviously no one at the church pressured the deceased’s survivors to choose something in keeping with the Christian faith – or, at least, in keeping with the fact that death is a rather serious matter. “Big Sexy” is buried at the very edge of the cemetery, but even so, a stone engraved “Big Sexy” has no business in a Christian graveyard. These personalized stones may well tell us what the person was like in his lifetime, but they do seem to trivialize death, as do the caskets which can also be purchased with sports logos. And, Bart, such “redneckery” is not limited to Indiana, West Virginia, or Alabama, stones like these can be found everywhere. Maybe I’m reading too much into this trend toward personalizing tombstones and caskets, but I take it as a sign of secularization and trivialization. I prefer the old stones with “Asleep in the Lord” or a cemetery-appropriate Bible verse.