Let Marriage Be Held in Honor

A briefing paper on EFFORTS TO EQUATE MARRIAGE WITH SAME-SEX RELATIONSHIPS

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for God will judge the immoral and adulterous. (Hebrews 13:4)

The Issue:
The Scriptures and all parts of our constitution consistently teach that marriage is instituted by God as a gift to all humankind, and that we are to honor that gift. How shall we honor marriage in the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.)? Shall we join those, including the California Supreme Court, who assert the right to redefine marriage to suit their own notions of justice? Shall we treat marriage as if it were no different from other sexual relationships? Or shall we reaffirm the biblical vision of an exclusive, lifelong, one-flesh union of the two complementary sexes created by God?

The Business:
Item 04-08 attempts to change the church’s definition of marriage by tinkering with a few passages in the Directory for Worship. Wherever the current text says “the man and woman,” this overture would substitute “two people.” Items 04-12 and 04-13, which are almost identical, complain that “married couples enjoy more than 1,000 protections, benefits, and responsibilities that are denied to committed couples in same-gender partnerships.” They propose to establish a special committee to figure out how to remedy this alleged injustice.

Deep Roots of Marriage:
Our church’s understanding of marriage goes far deeper than a couple phrases in the Directory for Worship. Consider all the teaching that would have to be uprooted to satisfy the claims of the same-sex advocates.

In the Scriptures:

• Genesis 1 narrates how “male and female he [God] created them [humans]” and how God then commanded them to “be fruitful and multiply.”
• Genesis 2 tells how the man and woman were formed to “help” (complement) one another. “Therefore,” it says, “a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife and they become one flesh.”
• In Matthew 19, when questioned about divorce, Jesus quotes the Genesis 2 passage. “What God has joined together [a husband and wife], let no one separate,” he says.
• Repeatedly—from Hosea to Ephesians to Revelation—the relationship between God and his people is portrayed as a marriage. It is a relationship in which two radically unlike parties are united in self-sacrificial love and total commitment.

None of these passages would make sense if marriage were between members of the same sex. God’s design in creating two sexes, the complementarity of unlikes, God’s agency in joining the spouses, “one flesh” as an accurate image of the only sexual act that can produce the “fruit” of new life, the close connection between marriage and procreation—none of these necessarily applies to a relationship between any two persons. Indeed, there would be no obvious reason why the number of partners should be two, if marriage has nothing to do with the two sexes.

In our PCUSA confessions:

• The Second Helvetic Confession: ”For marriage . . . was instituted by the Lord God himself, who  blessed it most bountifully, and willed man and woman to cleave one to the other inseparably, and to live together in complete love and concord.” (5.246)
• The Westminster Confession: ”Christian marriage is an institution ordained of God, blessed by our Lord Jesus Christ, established and sanctified for the happiness and welfare of mankind, into which spiritual and physical union one man and one woman enter . . . .” (6.131)
• The Confession of 1967: ”The relationship between man and woman exemplifies in a basic way God’s ordering of the interpersonal life for which he created mankind…. Reconciled to God, … a man and woman are enabled to marry, to commit themselves to a mutually shared life, and to respond to each other in sensitive and lifelong concern . . . .” (9.47)
  Will we amend all these confessions too?

Erroneous Assumptions:
Proponents of erasing the distinctions between marriage and other sexual relationships often make a number of dubious assumptions.

• Marriage is defined by the church and state, and so they can redefine it. On the contrary, marriage is defined by God’s purpose in creation. Thus marriage goes back before Jesus’ earthly ministry, before Moses, before all churches and states. Human societies around the world and throughout history have recognized the union of man and woman in marriage as a special relationship distinct from all others. We in the PCUSA have no power to redefine marriage; we can only honor or dishonor God’s handiwork.
• Individuals have the right to marry anyone they wish. On the contrary, marriage is not the act of an autonomous individual. Marriage is an institution—comparable to a partnership. Institutions have rules. Among the rules of marriage are: that it should unite a man and a woman, that it should be freely chosen, that it should be exclusive, and that it should be a total and permanent commitment. Marriage is not an infinitely flexible contract that can be extended to any two persons. For any individual considering marriage, the pool of eligible partners is limited. Many categories of persons are excluded from the pool: minors, close blood relatives, persons already married, legally incompetent persons, as well as members of the same sex. A person cannot marry anyone whom he or she wishes.
• Marriage is constituted by “two people who love each another.” On the contrary, there are many pairs of people—a parent and child, for example—who love one another deeply, but cannot and should not marry. Marriage requires much more than love. It is a sexual relationship between a woman and a man, risking all to unite bodies and souls across the great divide between the sexes.
• Childbearing has no necessary connection to marriage. On the contrary, the most vital interest that society has in marriage is its concern for the healthy upbringing of the next generation. Studies have shown that a child fares best under the care of its mother and father, married to one another. Both church and state have powerful reasons to favor marriage above other relationships. The fact that some marriages are childless does not substantially alter the situation. The authorities cannot know which couples will choose, and which couples will be able, to have children.
• Everyone has a right to a socially-approved sexual relationship. On the contrary, sexual relations are not required for individual happiness, social adjustment, or spiritual maturity. Christianity has a long tradition of respect for celibate men and women who, by the grace of God, deny their own desires and offer a special service to God and the community. Such individuals are citizens of God’s kingdom and the state in the fullest sense.

Presbyterian Action advises rejecting attempts to redefine marriage, and reaffirming the uniqueness of the one-flesh union of man and woman.